Organics and a Grammar Freak

I am sure that all 3 of my loyal readers are dying to know what I think about the recent events surrounding the death of Osama bin Laden. However, now that I am in a high-profile government position, I kind of feel like I can't comment on anything. Sorry. My blog will be much more boring than usual, I am sure. But I do have to say that I never rejoice in killing. You can read this article if you are curious as to what I mean. Here in DC a ton of people rushed to the outside of the White House and were shouting and cheering. I didn't. (I actually went to bed because it was almost midnight.) But I did watch the news. One reporter compared the celebration at the White House to a mix between "V-Day, Tahrir Square, [and two other celebratory events that I currently have forgotten]." I, however, disagreed with what she was saying because V-Day was celebrating stopping violence. I know that stopping (killing) murders and terrorists does stop further violence, but do we really have to celebrate their demise?

Anyway. This post is not about death.

It's about organic cereal and horrible grammar. (This is a hint to stop reading this if bad grammar doesn't bother you and you wonder what's the big deal. I specifically chose this topic because it is very much not life or death--and also this has been bugging me since Sunday.)

Organic food is very accessible in DC. Like, every time I go to the grocery store, I'm kind of like, "Where's the yoplait? And why does this yogurt cost $4?" "Of course carrots are organic. They grow in the ground. I am not paying $8 for something that already grows in the ground." "Organic air? You mean I have to pay to breathe? What's wrong with regular air [besides pollution and cigarette smoke]?"

Don't get me wrong. I love organic. I just don't love paying 3x as much for it. Maybe one day when I am rich I will take an "only organic" vow, but until then I am ok with the store brand for $1.49.

But I did buy some organic cereal the other day. The store didn't have anything else, actually. It's called "Optimum" because, well, "'Superlative' and 'Unsurpassed' just sounded a bit like bragging," according to the box.

I was intrigued when I read this on the back of the box. What is so "superlative" about them? Apparently not their grammar--because as I kept reading, I found this phrase: "The Blueberry & Cinnamon variety you're holding now, starts with our popular Flax Plus flakes, then we blend in our protein 'Twigs', Kamut wheat puffs, wild blueberries and cinnamon."

I won't even get started on commas. Even if people don't, know comma rules, certain comma placements just, contribute to a very awkward reading. You get my point. Anyway. The phrase that bothered me so much? The cereal "starts with our popular Flax Puls flakes, then we blend in our..." etc. So the cereal starts with flakes? And then the people magically appear and blend things in? Does anyone else find this lack of subject agreement disturbing?

Maybe if it was on the back of a regular cereal box I would be ok with it. But on an organic cereal? I mean, I just expected a lot more from something called "Optimum."