In 2012 I kept a better record on facebook than I did on my blog. It was much easier to write a 2-sentence status update than sit down and compose a blog entry. However, when I was making my 2012 year in review post, I had to go back to facebook several times to see what I had done each month. Thus, I thought it would be a great idea for me to put some of my best/most informative/amusing posts from facebook on my blog for posterity. If you are facebook friends with me or don't care to review a full year of facebook post highlights, feel free to skip this one.
January
3: "Good morning from Bethlehem!"
8: "To the woman sitting next to me on the bus today: I completely understand the urge to pick loose hairs off of your clothing. But next time, please don't throw those hairs on my leg. Thanks."
9: "Gotta love Israeli customer service. When I was checking out at the grocery store this morning, the checker was reading the newspaper. She looked up long enough to acknowledge my presence, and then continued reading the newspaper while scanning my items. I was impressed...she was so talented that she didn't even look up when handing me my receipt and the pen to sign it!"
12: "My favorite part of the week is quite possibly arguing with my Hebrew-speaking Israeli classmates in my Arabic class about the meaning of English words and their Arabic translation. Nope, "to leave" doesn't mean the same thing as "to stay." And yes, I'm pretty sure about that. I do have a degree in English, people!"
16: "As I was walking to the Bethlehem checkpoint on my way home tonight some guy pulled over and asked if I wanted a ride. I didn't know if it was because it was freezing, dark, and windy and he was just trying to be nice, or if he was a creeper. But less than a minute later ANOTHER guy pulled over and asked if I wanted a ride! But still...freezing, dark, and windy, or in a car with a strange man. It was a tough choice."
17: "Best news of the day: the weather has warmed up sufficiently that I can no longer see my breath in my apartment."
18: "Did my taxi driver really just ask me on a date? Why yes, yes he did. Good thing I had my "I'm engaged" excuse at the ready...(what the heck? I just taught him a little Chinese and suddenly he wants to take me to Jericho? And he spent the whole taxi ride talking about how dating is forbidden here...)"
22: "Had the scare of my LIFE today. As I was going through the checkpoint, my umbrella got stuck between two conveyor belts and was getting sucked in. After several minutes of struggling with it, I finally got it out and ran through the turnstill to the next checkpoint. But I couldn't find my passport!! I ran back to the turnstill and shouted through the bars to see if anyone had seen my passport. One man got it for me, I reached through the bars and grabbed it, and ran back to checkpoint #3. Perhaps to mock me after having seen the spectacle on the cameras, the two soldiers in the booth made me give them my passport and inspected it for several minutes before smirking, telling me to "have a nice day," and giving it back to me. What a great way to start the day."
25: "Nothing like a little morning fog in Jerusalem"
30: "What self-respecting university library doesn't open until 9 in the morning? Don't these people ever study?"
February
1: "Sometimes when I get really annoyed with people, I just pretend that they have severe personality disorders and can't help themselves. It makes them much easier to deal with."
2: "I always laugh at the aversion to walking in the Middle East. Today when I asked a guy how to get to Beit Sahour (about a 20 min walk) he said, "You stand here and wait for a taxi.""
5: "Just had dinner with my landlord and his family, confirming my suspicions that Palestinians are seriously some of the nicest people I have ever met."
14: "The most beautiful thing I've seen in months. Too bad I don't speak Spanish, though, since no one in Spain seemed to speak English..."
23: "I don't know what the best part of my sister's visit was...being asked if we were Arab at least 20 times (I guess my Arabic is improving!), staying in a mansion in Nazareth, or these delicious smoothies we found in Nablus today. It was real, Losaunne. Have a safe flight home!"
27: "The sun is shining and the internet is working in my apartment. In the same day. It's basically the best day of my life."
28: "Just started a Bible study group with my Jewish Israeli coworker. This is gonna be good."
March
9: "I just found out that the reason my class in Bethlehem was cancelled yesterday was because Abu Mazin declared International Women's Day a national holiday in the West Bank! All schools and government institutions were closed. YEAH for Palestinian women's rights!!!"
10: "Today, to save money, I decided to walk the last half-mile to the checkpoint to get to church in Jerusalem. And who should pull over but my old friend the Bedouin taxi driver, telling me to get in and he would take me the rest of the way. When I asked him how much, he just said, "God be with you." Thank you, dear Palestinian friends, for showing me what kindness is!"
12: "Language FAIL today: I was feeling so proud of myself for starting some classes in Hebrew. But first I couldn't find the classroom and I had to ask several people where the room was (turns out they had written the numbers backwards-it was 2204, not 4022), stumbling with my Hebrew the whole time...AND THEN no one was in the classroom and when I went to ask where they could be, the woman said a word in Hebrew that OF COURSE I don't know, so she had to ask if I needed her to say it in English. Strike. My teacher is on strike. I kind of want to go on strike too..."
"Today my professor introduced me to the class. "This is Breanne, Mormon, from the US." I guess I can't hide it even it I wanted to...I always stick out as a Mormon!"
18: "Yesterday when I stood up in sharing time to tell the Primary children that I was being released, the 9 year old boys said in (somewhat) unison, "Oh no, please don't say you're being released!!" And then one of them came up afterward and told me it was illegal for me to be released. Nothing like Primary kids to boost your self-esteem..."
19: "100 days."
30: "The old man that I bought my falafel from in Bethlehem today winked at me at least 5 times. I was really wishing I knew the word "overkill" in Arabic..."
April
2: "Somehow I just missed a Skype call from September 15, 1970...? Not sure how that happened, as Skype didn't even exist in 1970. Anyone else get a mysterious "missed call" from 42 years ago?"
4: "I probably shouldn't go to the store when I am this exhausted. Standing in the middle of the aisle, I realized that my most urgent and pressing needs would be fulfilled by getting chocolate and pitas. It wasn't until I got home that I realized that I was supposed to buy something substantial to eat for the next several days..."
9: "Sometimes I just laugh at how weird my life is."
11: "Just informed another person that nope, Mormons don't practice polygamy. I've started measuring my contribution to the world in the number of people that, because of me, now know that Mormons aren't polygamists and don't wear pioneer-era dresses and bonnets in daily life...
(My favorite was when my friend, upon finding out that I'm Mormon, said, "But you're so...normal!" Although I'm sure that there are many people who would disagree :)"
14: Yesterday I was trying to take a shortcut. Unfortunately as I climbed over a wall and slid down a pole, two men saw me. To make the situation less awkward, I asked them if there was a pathway through the hillside over to the other side of the city. "Yes, but it's a dirt road with trash everywhere! And it's far! I think it will be hard for you!" they responded.
And that after they just watched me climb over a wall and slide down a pole..."
15: "Woke up at 4:45 this morning from nightmares about Communism. I don't think that's a good sign."
19: "Yesterday a random man came up to me in the university cafeteria and gave me a love note with his phone number, telling me I was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. And then yesterday evening I was walking home (in a different city) and a man started following me and, when I told him I was engaged to get him to leave me alone, asked if I wanted to exchange my fiance for him. At the end of the day I didn't know whether to feel flattered or creeped out..."
29: "I had a dream last night that I was in the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. I have to say, it was much better than the dream about communism..."
"I was eating cereal for dinner tonight. I was so happy it was something other than pita that when I saw the dead ants floating in my bowl (and the live one crawling around) I thought, at least it's not spiders, and kept eating."
May
1: "The first line of my assigned reading for class today: "Thinking is a difficult business, and most of us prefer to do as little of it as possible.""
3: "3 military checkpoints, several hours in a refugee camp, 5 interviews, and a forgotten passport...isn't it time for bed yet?"
5: "The Samaritan passover lamb sacrifice on Mt. Gerizim in Nablus on Friday. This day was only made stranger by the fact that I had exactly 59 minutes of sleep the night before. And that random moment when I was speaking to Koreans in Hebrew in the middle of the (Arabic speaking) West Bank city of Nablus."
7: "How do I diplomatically express my frustration to a professor who, after agreeing to meet with me at 1, asked if we could postpone 30 minutes when I called her at one, and then called two more times to continue postponing our meetings. When I finally called, one hour after our scheduled appointment, because I couldn't find her office, she told me, "I don't know what to tell you because it doesn't have a room number. I'm sure you'll find it, it's just near the office of the department." My preferred method of dealing with people like this is to lose all respect and step up my internet use in their class until the semester is over, but I'm sure there has to be a better way."
10: "Today a man from Ireland told me that I looked very Irish. "It's your hair color," he said. I guess all those hours of beauty school did something!
(And on the humorous side, he and his wife were VERY blonde, in sharp contrast to my freshly colored dark reddish-brown...)"
11: "Just played street soccer with some little Palestinian boys in Bethlehem. In high heels. I was walking by and they totally invited me to play with them."
11: "Earthquake! First one I've felt since that traumatizing one in DC in August. The best part about it was I finally got to use the word زلزال, the Arabic word for earthquake, when I ran over to ask my neighbors if they had felt it..."
12: "Nothing much better than a Saturday filled with church, curry, and a rousing game of apples to apples with 5 children and 7 adults. Special thanks to the Vogelmanns for providing the curry and the children..."
15: "Just spent almost $8 on deodorant. At prices like that, it's almost enough to make me not want to wear it at all, ya know?"
19: "I taught the Sunbeams today. Kinds were screaming and crying and telling me they were bored until I brought out the bubbles. Then it turned into the Best. Sunbeam. Class. Ever. (Maybe we should do something similar for boring gospel doctrine classes?)"
21: "Why yes, I HAVE always wanted to wake up to no water and take a shower with my water bottle storage (that I have kept for EXACTLY this purpose). So glad I could have that experience this morning..."
22: "Just had an encounter with Palestinian Jehovah's witnesses in Bethlehem. They chatted with me in Arabic for a few minutes and then we shared a taxi ride back to Beit Sahour. Which they paid for. Definitely the best encounter with Jehovah's Witnesses I've ever had!"
24: "I will never cease to be amazed at Palestinian hospitality. I just went to a refugee camp to interview some women there. I walked away with 5 great interviews, a delicious lunch, and an invitation to come back next week to learn how to make Palestinian food. Love these people!"
"I rode 10 different busses today. 10. I'm starting to feel like I live on the bus."
28: "4 weeks from today, I fly out of here..."
June
2: "Yesterday my favorite four-year-old friend said to me, "I don't think your jokes are funny, because you're an adult and I'm just a kid." Four going on forty..."
6: "Last night I was babysitting some of my favorite little kids. And they asked me, "Breanne, how come you're so awesome?" I should seriously babysit more often..."
10: "Ah, summer. The time of year when my daily schedule is determined in large part by where I can find air conditioning..."
14: "My grandmother, according to the hospice nurse, was the "strongest patient he's ever seen." She passed away yesterday afternoon. After 89 years she will be missed dearly, but I'm sure her reunion with her husband and two sons was very sweet. Thank you, Grandma Campbell, for the legacy of strength and courage that you have left for me!"
15: "100 degrees and my apartment doesn't have airconditioning. It's definitely a scrape-the-ice-out-of-the-freezer-and-rub-it-all-over-my-body type of day."
17: "Congratulations to my West Bank Primary kids on their very first Primary program! And with a General Authority in the audience to boot. Love these kids!!"
22: "Just got locked into my office building. You'd think with this country's ridiculous Friday closing hours, they'd at least have doors that employees could get out of after 4 pm on Friday. The half-Friday-all-day-Saturday Shabbat is definitely on my list of things I WON'T miss about Jerusalem. Just two more days..."
23: "I'm terrible at saying goodbye. I'd much rather sneak out the back door and send everyone an email telling them, "Hey! I left! I'm in Turkey now! If I ever see you again, I'll see you again. If not, there's always facebook, eh?" But at least when all else fails, flower power headbands made by my favorite little friends make everything better."
24: "Well Israel, Jerusalem, West Bank, it's been...interesting. Certainly an experience I hope never to have again. Maybe next time I come back there will be a little more peace and a little less childishness here. But for now, good riddance, and Turkey, here I come!"
"I just want to reiterate three things for good measure. THIS COUNTRY!!!!!! and THESE PEOPLE!!!!!!! and GOOD RIDDANCE!!!!!!!!!!!! That is all."
25: "Spent the day riding a bike around the Turkish island of Buyukada. Turkey is magical. And the people are so nice. This random man sat down next to me at the bus stop and tried to share his lunch with me. Hopefully I didn't look homeless..."
27: "Istanbul has been a dream. Some of my favorite things:
*A street vendor asked us where we were from and when we said Utah he said, "Amish?"
*Today this guy in a restaurant totally invited me to come and fill the last spot on his football/soccer team tomorrow night. (I think he would have changed his mind if he knew how bad I am at soccer!)
*The hotel owners always call me (and every other woman) "lady." "Lady, good morning!" "Lady, how are you?"
*They serve Turkish delight at breakfast
*AND we saw the Hagia Sophia, Blue Mosque, and a whirling dervishes show today. What a dream."
29: "I think I've changed my fall plans. Instead of moving to Ohio to finish graduate school, I think I'll just move to Switzerland and live in a little house in the middle of the Alps forever."
30: "Today the waiter at the restaurant in a teeny French town helped me translate the French menu. "This one is snail cheese," he said. And so, like any sensible person, I ordered it. And then a huge storm blew in and I realized, "I'm in a small village in France and it's raining." And like any rational person, I ran outside to wander the streets without an umbrella. Snail cheese and thunderstorms. It was a spectacular combination."
July
1: "Went to probably the most happy and welcoming LDS ward I've ever been to today in Strasbourg, France. I felt like an honored guest instead of some American visitor that didn't speak French..."
2: "I'm such a hard-core workaholic that it's pathetic. Today I was waiting for the metro to go in to sightsee in Paris and I saw some men in business suits on their way to work. And I thought, "Gosh, I wish I could be going to work right now! I sure miss having a job!" I guess I don't do vacations well!"
5: "I am seriously so tired of walking around in the sun. Today I was so tired that I just sat down on some rocks at the Colosseum and slept. And I'm sure everyone walking by was thinking, "Who in the heck just falls asleep at the Colosseum?" Me, that's who."
9: "Dear America,
Remember me? I've missed you quite a bit. I just wanted to inform you that I will arrive to your blessed shores tomorrow. I'm looking forward to the reunion with great anticipation.
Love,
Breanne"
10: "Just this morning I was thinking, "How can I make a lot of money in a short amount of time?" And so when my flight was overbooked and the check-in agent asked if I wanted to postpone my flight and get 600 Euros, I said yes, of course, naturally. Meaning I just made 600 Euros in 4 hours. Miracles do happen, friends."
"AMERICA!!!!!! I had to laugh when the customs agent looked at my customs form and asked me, "so what have you been doing traveling to...everywhere?" And then he suggested that I go to New York next time instead. Oh, America."
17: "I'm off to Utah. I'll miss a lot of things about Texas, but I think the thing I'll miss the most is watching my nephew's crazy flying skills. Nothing like watching an 8-month-old soar through the sky."
19: "Just translated a missionary lesson for a Sudanese woman. Who knew that my Arabic skills would be useful even in Salt Lake?"
26: "I bought a car yesterday. It's a bit of an upgrade, but I think my old car would approve, because the air conditioning doesn't work and one of the doors doesn't open on this one either!"
August
3: "Special thanks to the man who helped me fix my car when it randomly died at a gas station in Orem. And special thanks to Auto Zone for fixing the problem for free after gas station stranger fixed it enough to get to Auto Zone. Oh, and thanks to the clerk at the gas station for letting me borrow their pliers."
12: "For the past few weeks I have had the awesome privilege of translating the missionary lessons into Arabic for a woman from Sudan. And yesterday she got baptized. Congratulations Amna!!!"
15: "I would like my car and those 15 packages of fruit snacks for getting me safely to Columbus."
17: "After 54 days of living in hotels and staying at other people's homes (in 7 countries and 3 states), I finally have my own apartment again!! Special thanks to all those who let me stay in their homes and eat their food!"
19: "Sometimes I forget what a small world it is when you're a Mormon! Walked into my new ward in Columbus today and there was another sister from my mission, also just starting a grad program at OSU..."
24: "Yes I did."
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26: "Guess who I met yesterday at the Republican rally in Columbus? Guess knowing someone who works for Romney's campaign has its perks..."
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September
2: "Not a day has gone by since I moved out here that I haven't seen a man (and most days several men) walking around without a shirt on. I think you would all be proud to know that no matter how hot it gets, I always leave my shirt on in public."
3: "I was super excited about the free tree and rug I got off of craigslist. As I hauled them from my car to my apartment, my next-door neighbor stepped out to take a smoke break. He was chuckling a little at the sight of me carrying a 6-foot fake tree, so I said hello RIGHT AS I STEPPED ON THE EDGE OF THE SIDEWALK AND FELL INTO THE GRASS. Yeah, I'm graceful."
10: "Today one of my colleagues called Utah a city. This was the second time in a week, people, that someone was talking to me and called Utah a city. So I thought I would help to educate the world: Utah is actually a state, with big cities and small towns, deserts and mountains, and even a 5-lane freeway in some areas."
19: "I'm such a ghetto graduate student. Yesterday I went to a lecture right during dinner time, and they provided sub sandwiches for those attending. I had already eaten dinner, but I didn't want my free sandwich to go to waste. But I didn't have anything to put the sandwich in. Luckily, the bag that had held the plates was still sitting (empty) on the table. Naturally, I grabbed that plastic plate bag and put my sandwich in it so I could eat it for lunch today!"
24: "So apparently I think I'm awesome even when I'm sleeping. I had a dream the other night that I rescued a man from drowning, hypothermia, and third degree burns all over his body (he jumped in the icy river to put out the fire and I jumped in after him, pulled him out, and treated his burns). Maybe it's time to get my first aid knowledge up to speed..."
October
1: "Since this is the third time I've been rescued from instant death, I think it's time to publicly thank my car's guardian angels for pushing my car out of the path of two oncoming semis after it died in the middle of the road three weeks ago, for pushing me out of the path of a merging semi on the freeway two weeks ago, and for clearing the intersection of all cars before I hydroplaned through the red light in the pouring rain tonight."
6: "Oh my heck. Young men can now serve missions starting at age 18 and young women at 19!!! I'm floored. Astounded. Biggest change in church policy I remember."
9: "Obama's coming to OSU today. No matter how you're voting in November...the fact that the freaking president of the United States is coming to my university (and will be visible from my office window) is pretty awesome."
12: "BAH!! Who leaves the door ajar when they are using a unisex restroom at the gas station?"
16: "A homeless man just told me that I 'look real nice today.'"
20: "Special thanks to the random woman who walked halfway across the store to show me where the lemon juice was. I was just hoping that she'd point me in the right direction, but she took me there to make sure it was right!""
30: "My laptop charge cord broke today. AND I locked my keys out of my car. I think I'm overdue for some chocolate..."
November
2: "Just finished hosting the third dinner party in a week. I think that's enough social interaction for at least a month..."
3: "I've gotten 15 emails from Obama and Romney in the last 30 hours. Both of them are coming to Columbus on Monday. Next election season, I'm moving to Canada. #isittuesdayyet"
8: "Well, turns out that my neighbors didn't steal my package from Amazon, after all. After a week of waiting and unsuccessful calls to UPS and my apartment complex's main office, I tried once more today and found out that A. The UPS man had not dropped the package off at my house as was stated, B. He had actually dropped it off at the main office, although when I called the office several days ago they had told me that the drivers don't do that unless I request it, and C. THE PACKAGE WAS STILL THERE. My laptop has a power cord again. Life is sweet."
11: "I was on familysearch.org tonight checking out my ancestors. And I found records back to 390. GUYS. In 390, the Emperor Theodosius was publicly humiliated by Bishop Ambrose. That's a lot of family history. And I found out I have ancestors from Spain. Who knew?
Some favorite ancestral names:
Dolfin FitzUchtred Lord Raby (b. 1136)
Adelicia FitzWalcher (b. 1115)
Lord Robert "The Saxon" of Raby (b. 1160)
Mabel de Malherbe (b. 1173)
Maud FitzSwane (b. 1140)
Robert FitzJohn De Baliol Clavering (b. 1239)
Joscelain De Louvaine (b. 1130)
Alan de la Zouche, Sir Knight (b. 1220)
Albreda Aubrey FitzEustace (b. 1158)
Lancelot de Briquebec (b. 905)
And...Charlemagne Emperor of the Holy Roman Empire (he's my 40th great grandfather on my dad's side).
That's it. I'm officially addicted. Family Search is awesome."
16: "I, like many of the rest of you, have been watching the events in Gaza and Israel with growing alarm. I have many friends, Israeli and Palestinian, whose lives are deeply affected by the ongoing conflict, and I pray for their safety. Choosing who is right and who is wrong in this terribly complicated conflict is not something that I am qualified to do. I believe, however, that true peace will only come when people want peace more than they want to be right. I hope to see an increase of people who push for peace and a decrease of those who militantly pick sides and demand justice at the expense of peace."
20: "My laptop cord is broken. Yes, friends, the same cord that I just bought two weeks ago. To replace the cord that broke three months after I bought it. And I don't have any chocolate. Times are desperate. It's time to call in some John Donne."
22: "Lack of furnishings obviously didn't stop me from hosting Thanksgiving dinner at my house this year. When my friend wanted to take a nap, I was like, sure no problem. Just find the most comfortable spot on the floor! (This picture wasn't staged, btw)"
30: "Today I was sitting in class and suddenly someone's phone went off. I was surprised to hear that someone had the hymn "For All the Saints" as their ring tone, but I was glad it was someone else's problem because I knew my phone was off. And then I realized that somehow my ipod had gotten shifted around in my purse and somehow something had bumped it just right to turn it on and push play! Definitely the most awkward moment of the day: running out of class trying to dig my ipod out to turn it off while my purse plays "For All The Saints" at full volume."
December
1: "My small bit of Christmas cheer didn't quite make it all the way down the banister. Now instead of looking festive, it just looks pathetic."
3: "Finding some random stranger's underwear in my laundry when I picked it up from the laundromat today might just win for awkward experiences this week."
7: "Last night as I was coming out of the grocery store I saw a creeper lurking outside the automatic doors. In order to give him a wide berth, I kept to the very edge of the opening doors. Unfortunately they didn't open all the way and I ran right into the door. Smooth, Breanne."
8: "One paper down. One more to go. One car still broken. And only 10 more days until I fly back to Utah for Christmas...and none of this will matter anymore. (Until, of course, I come back in January to a broken car and lots more papers to write!)"
10: "I'm sick of getting harassed by random strangers as I walk along the sidewalk. Twice in four days is way too many times. Does this happen to anyone else in Columbus? Or am I just hyper sensistive because of my time spent in the Middle East?"
11: "Just finished my last paper. Christmas break has begun! I have so much time on my hands I hardly know what to do. I can search for jobs, refinish my kitchen table, explore Ohio...heck, I might even try online dating. I have a whole week before I fly out to Utah. That should be enough time to do everything, right?"
17: "Authentic Chinese hot pot. Best FHE idea ever. Special thanks to the missionaries and several of their Chinese investigators, who sponsored the event. They even had aloe juice!!!"
25: "I hope Christmas was exciting for everyone as it was for my nephew. Merry Christmas!"
January
3: "Good morning from Bethlehem!"
8: "To the woman sitting next to me on the bus today: I completely understand the urge to pick loose hairs off of your clothing. But next time, please don't throw those hairs on my leg. Thanks."
9: "Gotta love Israeli customer service. When I was checking out at the grocery store this morning, the checker was reading the newspaper. She looked up long enough to acknowledge my presence, and then continued reading the newspaper while scanning my items. I was impressed...she was so talented that she didn't even look up when handing me my receipt and the pen to sign it!"
12: "My favorite part of the week is quite possibly arguing with my Hebrew-speaking Israeli classmates in my Arabic class about the meaning of English words and their Arabic translation. Nope, "to leave" doesn't mean the same thing as "to stay." And yes, I'm pretty sure about that. I do have a degree in English, people!"
16: "As I was walking to the Bethlehem checkpoint on my way home tonight some guy pulled over and asked if I wanted a ride. I didn't know if it was because it was freezing, dark, and windy and he was just trying to be nice, or if he was a creeper. But less than a minute later ANOTHER guy pulled over and asked if I wanted a ride! But still...freezing, dark, and windy, or in a car with a strange man. It was a tough choice."
17: "Best news of the day: the weather has warmed up sufficiently that I can no longer see my breath in my apartment."
18: "Did my taxi driver really just ask me on a date? Why yes, yes he did. Good thing I had my "I'm engaged" excuse at the ready...(what the heck? I just taught him a little Chinese and suddenly he wants to take me to Jericho? And he spent the whole taxi ride talking about how dating is forbidden here...)"
22: "Had the scare of my LIFE today. As I was going through the checkpoint, my umbrella got stuck between two conveyor belts and was getting sucked in. After several minutes of struggling with it, I finally got it out and ran through the turnstill to the next checkpoint. But I couldn't find my passport!! I ran back to the turnstill and shouted through the bars to see if anyone had seen my passport. One man got it for me, I reached through the bars and grabbed it, and ran back to checkpoint #3. Perhaps to mock me after having seen the spectacle on the cameras, the two soldiers in the booth made me give them my passport and inspected it for several minutes before smirking, telling me to "have a nice day," and giving it back to me. What a great way to start the day."
25: "Nothing like a little morning fog in Jerusalem"
30: "What self-respecting university library doesn't open until 9 in the morning? Don't these people ever study?"
February
1: "Sometimes when I get really annoyed with people, I just pretend that they have severe personality disorders and can't help themselves. It makes them much easier to deal with."
2: "I always laugh at the aversion to walking in the Middle East. Today when I asked a guy how to get to Beit Sahour (about a 20 min walk) he said, "You stand here and wait for a taxi.""
5: "Just had dinner with my landlord and his family, confirming my suspicions that Palestinians are seriously some of the nicest people I have ever met."
14: "The most beautiful thing I've seen in months. Too bad I don't speak Spanish, though, since no one in Spain seemed to speak English..."
23: "I don't know what the best part of my sister's visit was...being asked if we were Arab at least 20 times (I guess my Arabic is improving!), staying in a mansion in Nazareth, or these delicious smoothies we found in Nablus today. It was real, Losaunne. Have a safe flight home!"
27: "The sun is shining and the internet is working in my apartment. In the same day. It's basically the best day of my life."
28: "Just started a Bible study group with my Jewish Israeli coworker. This is gonna be good."
March
9: "I just found out that the reason my class in Bethlehem was cancelled yesterday was because Abu Mazin declared International Women's Day a national holiday in the West Bank! All schools and government institutions were closed. YEAH for Palestinian women's rights!!!"
10: "Today, to save money, I decided to walk the last half-mile to the checkpoint to get to church in Jerusalem. And who should pull over but my old friend the Bedouin taxi driver, telling me to get in and he would take me the rest of the way. When I asked him how much, he just said, "God be with you." Thank you, dear Palestinian friends, for showing me what kindness is!"
12: "Language FAIL today: I was feeling so proud of myself for starting some classes in Hebrew. But first I couldn't find the classroom and I had to ask several people where the room was (turns out they had written the numbers backwards-it was 2204, not 4022), stumbling with my Hebrew the whole time...AND THEN no one was in the classroom and when I went to ask where they could be, the woman said a word in Hebrew that OF COURSE I don't know, so she had to ask if I needed her to say it in English. Strike. My teacher is on strike. I kind of want to go on strike too..."
"Today my professor introduced me to the class. "This is Breanne, Mormon, from the US." I guess I can't hide it even it I wanted to...I always stick out as a Mormon!"
18: "Yesterday when I stood up in sharing time to tell the Primary children that I was being released, the 9 year old boys said in (somewhat) unison, "Oh no, please don't say you're being released!!" And then one of them came up afterward and told me it was illegal for me to be released. Nothing like Primary kids to boost your self-esteem..."
19: "100 days."
30: "The old man that I bought my falafel from in Bethlehem today winked at me at least 5 times. I was really wishing I knew the word "overkill" in Arabic..."
April
2: "Somehow I just missed a Skype call from September 15, 1970...? Not sure how that happened, as Skype didn't even exist in 1970. Anyone else get a mysterious "missed call" from 42 years ago?"
4: "I probably shouldn't go to the store when I am this exhausted. Standing in the middle of the aisle, I realized that my most urgent and pressing needs would be fulfilled by getting chocolate and pitas. It wasn't until I got home that I realized that I was supposed to buy something substantial to eat for the next several days..."
9: "Sometimes I just laugh at how weird my life is."
11: "Just informed another person that nope, Mormons don't practice polygamy. I've started measuring my contribution to the world in the number of people that, because of me, now know that Mormons aren't polygamists and don't wear pioneer-era dresses and bonnets in daily life...
(My favorite was when my friend, upon finding out that I'm Mormon, said, "But you're so...normal!" Although I'm sure that there are many people who would disagree :)"
14: Yesterday I was trying to take a shortcut. Unfortunately as I climbed over a wall and slid down a pole, two men saw me. To make the situation less awkward, I asked them if there was a pathway through the hillside over to the other side of the city. "Yes, but it's a dirt road with trash everywhere! And it's far! I think it will be hard for you!" they responded.
And that after they just watched me climb over a wall and slide down a pole..."
15: "Woke up at 4:45 this morning from nightmares about Communism. I don't think that's a good sign."
19: "Yesterday a random man came up to me in the university cafeteria and gave me a love note with his phone number, telling me I was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. And then yesterday evening I was walking home (in a different city) and a man started following me and, when I told him I was engaged to get him to leave me alone, asked if I wanted to exchange my fiance for him. At the end of the day I didn't know whether to feel flattered or creeped out..."
29: "I had a dream last night that I was in the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. I have to say, it was much better than the dream about communism..."
"I was eating cereal for dinner tonight. I was so happy it was something other than pita that when I saw the dead ants floating in my bowl (and the live one crawling around) I thought, at least it's not spiders, and kept eating."
May
1: "The first line of my assigned reading for class today: "Thinking is a difficult business, and most of us prefer to do as little of it as possible.""
3: "3 military checkpoints, several hours in a refugee camp, 5 interviews, and a forgotten passport...isn't it time for bed yet?"
5: "The Samaritan passover lamb sacrifice on Mt. Gerizim in Nablus on Friday. This day was only made stranger by the fact that I had exactly 59 minutes of sleep the night before. And that random moment when I was speaking to Koreans in Hebrew in the middle of the (Arabic speaking) West Bank city of Nablus."
7: "How do I diplomatically express my frustration to a professor who, after agreeing to meet with me at 1, asked if we could postpone 30 minutes when I called her at one, and then called two more times to continue postponing our meetings. When I finally called, one hour after our scheduled appointment, because I couldn't find her office, she told me, "I don't know what to tell you because it doesn't have a room number. I'm sure you'll find it, it's just near the office of the department." My preferred method of dealing with people like this is to lose all respect and step up my internet use in their class until the semester is over, but I'm sure there has to be a better way."
10: "Today a man from Ireland told me that I looked very Irish. "It's your hair color," he said. I guess all those hours of beauty school did something!
(And on the humorous side, he and his wife were VERY blonde, in sharp contrast to my freshly colored dark reddish-brown...)"
11: "Just played street soccer with some little Palestinian boys in Bethlehem. In high heels. I was walking by and they totally invited me to play with them."
11: "Earthquake! First one I've felt since that traumatizing one in DC in August. The best part about it was I finally got to use the word زلزال, the Arabic word for earthquake, when I ran over to ask my neighbors if they had felt it..."
12: "Nothing much better than a Saturday filled with church, curry, and a rousing game of apples to apples with 5 children and 7 adults. Special thanks to the Vogelmanns for providing the curry and the children..."
15: "Just spent almost $8 on deodorant. At prices like that, it's almost enough to make me not want to wear it at all, ya know?"
19: "I taught the Sunbeams today. Kinds were screaming and crying and telling me they were bored until I brought out the bubbles. Then it turned into the Best. Sunbeam. Class. Ever. (Maybe we should do something similar for boring gospel doctrine classes?)"
21: "Why yes, I HAVE always wanted to wake up to no water and take a shower with my water bottle storage (that I have kept for EXACTLY this purpose). So glad I could have that experience this morning..."
22: "Just had an encounter with Palestinian Jehovah's witnesses in Bethlehem. They chatted with me in Arabic for a few minutes and then we shared a taxi ride back to Beit Sahour. Which they paid for. Definitely the best encounter with Jehovah's Witnesses I've ever had!"
24: "I will never cease to be amazed at Palestinian hospitality. I just went to a refugee camp to interview some women there. I walked away with 5 great interviews, a delicious lunch, and an invitation to come back next week to learn how to make Palestinian food. Love these people!"
"I rode 10 different busses today. 10. I'm starting to feel like I live on the bus."
28: "4 weeks from today, I fly out of here..."
June
2: "Yesterday my favorite four-year-old friend said to me, "I don't think your jokes are funny, because you're an adult and I'm just a kid." Four going on forty..."
6: "Last night I was babysitting some of my favorite little kids. And they asked me, "Breanne, how come you're so awesome?" I should seriously babysit more often..."
10: "Ah, summer. The time of year when my daily schedule is determined in large part by where I can find air conditioning..."
14: "My grandmother, according to the hospice nurse, was the "strongest patient he's ever seen." She passed away yesterday afternoon. After 89 years she will be missed dearly, but I'm sure her reunion with her husband and two sons was very sweet. Thank you, Grandma Campbell, for the legacy of strength and courage that you have left for me!"
15: "100 degrees and my apartment doesn't have airconditioning. It's definitely a scrape-the-ice-out-of-the-freezer-and-rub-it-all-over-my-body type of day."
17: "Congratulations to my West Bank Primary kids on their very first Primary program! And with a General Authority in the audience to boot. Love these kids!!"
22: "Just got locked into my office building. You'd think with this country's ridiculous Friday closing hours, they'd at least have doors that employees could get out of after 4 pm on Friday. The half-Friday-all-day-Saturday Shabbat is definitely on my list of things I WON'T miss about Jerusalem. Just two more days..."
23: "I'm terrible at saying goodbye. I'd much rather sneak out the back door and send everyone an email telling them, "Hey! I left! I'm in Turkey now! If I ever see you again, I'll see you again. If not, there's always facebook, eh?" But at least when all else fails, flower power headbands made by my favorite little friends make everything better."
24: "Well Israel, Jerusalem, West Bank, it's been...interesting. Certainly an experience I hope never to have again. Maybe next time I come back there will be a little more peace and a little less childishness here. But for now, good riddance, and Turkey, here I come!"
"I just want to reiterate three things for good measure. THIS COUNTRY!!!!!! and THESE PEOPLE!!!!!!! and GOOD RIDDANCE!!!!!!!!!!!! That is all."
25: "Spent the day riding a bike around the Turkish island of Buyukada. Turkey is magical. And the people are so nice. This random man sat down next to me at the bus stop and tried to share his lunch with me. Hopefully I didn't look homeless..."
27: "Istanbul has been a dream. Some of my favorite things:
*A street vendor asked us where we were from and when we said Utah he said, "Amish?"
*Today this guy in a restaurant totally invited me to come and fill the last spot on his football/soccer team tomorrow night. (I think he would have changed his mind if he knew how bad I am at soccer!)
*The hotel owners always call me (and every other woman) "lady." "Lady, good morning!" "Lady, how are you?"
*They serve Turkish delight at breakfast
*AND we saw the Hagia Sophia, Blue Mosque, and a whirling dervishes show today. What a dream."
29: "I think I've changed my fall plans. Instead of moving to Ohio to finish graduate school, I think I'll just move to Switzerland and live in a little house in the middle of the Alps forever."
30: "Today the waiter at the restaurant in a teeny French town helped me translate the French menu. "This one is snail cheese," he said. And so, like any sensible person, I ordered it. And then a huge storm blew in and I realized, "I'm in a small village in France and it's raining." And like any rational person, I ran outside to wander the streets without an umbrella. Snail cheese and thunderstorms. It was a spectacular combination."
July
1: "Went to probably the most happy and welcoming LDS ward I've ever been to today in Strasbourg, France. I felt like an honored guest instead of some American visitor that didn't speak French..."
2: "I'm such a hard-core workaholic that it's pathetic. Today I was waiting for the metro to go in to sightsee in Paris and I saw some men in business suits on their way to work. And I thought, "Gosh, I wish I could be going to work right now! I sure miss having a job!" I guess I don't do vacations well!"
5: "I am seriously so tired of walking around in the sun. Today I was so tired that I just sat down on some rocks at the Colosseum and slept. And I'm sure everyone walking by was thinking, "Who in the heck just falls asleep at the Colosseum?" Me, that's who."
9: "Dear America,
Remember me? I've missed you quite a bit. I just wanted to inform you that I will arrive to your blessed shores tomorrow. I'm looking forward to the reunion with great anticipation.
Love,
Breanne"
10: "Just this morning I was thinking, "How can I make a lot of money in a short amount of time?" And so when my flight was overbooked and the check-in agent asked if I wanted to postpone my flight and get 600 Euros, I said yes, of course, naturally. Meaning I just made 600 Euros in 4 hours. Miracles do happen, friends."
"AMERICA!!!!!! I had to laugh when the customs agent looked at my customs form and asked me, "so what have you been doing traveling to...everywhere?" And then he suggested that I go to New York next time instead. Oh, America."
17: "I'm off to Utah. I'll miss a lot of things about Texas, but I think the thing I'll miss the most is watching my nephew's crazy flying skills. Nothing like watching an 8-month-old soar through the sky."
19: "Just translated a missionary lesson for a Sudanese woman. Who knew that my Arabic skills would be useful even in Salt Lake?"
26: "I bought a car yesterday. It's a bit of an upgrade, but I think my old car would approve, because the air conditioning doesn't work and one of the doors doesn't open on this one either!"
August
3: "Special thanks to the man who helped me fix my car when it randomly died at a gas station in Orem. And special thanks to Auto Zone for fixing the problem for free after gas station stranger fixed it enough to get to Auto Zone. Oh, and thanks to the clerk at the gas station for letting me borrow their pliers."
12: "For the past few weeks I have had the awesome privilege of translating the missionary lessons into Arabic for a woman from Sudan. And yesterday she got baptized. Congratulations Amna!!!"
15: "I would like my car and those 15 packages of fruit snacks for getting me safely to Columbus."
17: "After 54 days of living in hotels and staying at other people's homes (in 7 countries and 3 states), I finally have my own apartment again!! Special thanks to all those who let me stay in their homes and eat their food!"
19: "Sometimes I forget what a small world it is when you're a Mormon! Walked into my new ward in Columbus today and there was another sister from my mission, also just starting a grad program at OSU..."
24: "Yes I did."
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26: "Guess who I met yesterday at the Republican rally in Columbus? Guess knowing someone who works for Romney's campaign has its perks..."
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2: "Not a day has gone by since I moved out here that I haven't seen a man (and most days several men) walking around without a shirt on. I think you would all be proud to know that no matter how hot it gets, I always leave my shirt on in public."
3: "I was super excited about the free tree and rug I got off of craigslist. As I hauled them from my car to my apartment, my next-door neighbor stepped out to take a smoke break. He was chuckling a little at the sight of me carrying a 6-foot fake tree, so I said hello RIGHT AS I STEPPED ON THE EDGE OF THE SIDEWALK AND FELL INTO THE GRASS. Yeah, I'm graceful."
10: "Today one of my colleagues called Utah a city. This was the second time in a week, people, that someone was talking to me and called Utah a city. So I thought I would help to educate the world: Utah is actually a state, with big cities and small towns, deserts and mountains, and even a 5-lane freeway in some areas."
19: "I'm such a ghetto graduate student. Yesterday I went to a lecture right during dinner time, and they provided sub sandwiches for those attending. I had already eaten dinner, but I didn't want my free sandwich to go to waste. But I didn't have anything to put the sandwich in. Luckily, the bag that had held the plates was still sitting (empty) on the table. Naturally, I grabbed that plastic plate bag and put my sandwich in it so I could eat it for lunch today!"
24: "So apparently I think I'm awesome even when I'm sleeping. I had a dream the other night that I rescued a man from drowning, hypothermia, and third degree burns all over his body (he jumped in the icy river to put out the fire and I jumped in after him, pulled him out, and treated his burns). Maybe it's time to get my first aid knowledge up to speed..."
October
1: "Since this is the third time I've been rescued from instant death, I think it's time to publicly thank my car's guardian angels for pushing my car out of the path of two oncoming semis after it died in the middle of the road three weeks ago, for pushing me out of the path of a merging semi on the freeway two weeks ago, and for clearing the intersection of all cars before I hydroplaned through the red light in the pouring rain tonight."
6: "Oh my heck. Young men can now serve missions starting at age 18 and young women at 19!!! I'm floored. Astounded. Biggest change in church policy I remember."
9: "Obama's coming to OSU today. No matter how you're voting in November...the fact that the freaking president of the United States is coming to my university (and will be visible from my office window) is pretty awesome."
12: "BAH!! Who leaves the door ajar when they are using a unisex restroom at the gas station?"
16: "A homeless man just told me that I 'look real nice today.'"
20: "Special thanks to the random woman who walked halfway across the store to show me where the lemon juice was. I was just hoping that she'd point me in the right direction, but she took me there to make sure it was right!""
30: "My laptop charge cord broke today. AND I locked my keys out of my car. I think I'm overdue for some chocolate..."
November
2: "Just finished hosting the third dinner party in a week. I think that's enough social interaction for at least a month..."
3: "I've gotten 15 emails from Obama and Romney in the last 30 hours. Both of them are coming to Columbus on Monday. Next election season, I'm moving to Canada. #isittuesdayyet"
8: "Well, turns out that my neighbors didn't steal my package from Amazon, after all. After a week of waiting and unsuccessful calls to UPS and my apartment complex's main office, I tried once more today and found out that A. The UPS man had not dropped the package off at my house as was stated, B. He had actually dropped it off at the main office, although when I called the office several days ago they had told me that the drivers don't do that unless I request it, and C. THE PACKAGE WAS STILL THERE. My laptop has a power cord again. Life is sweet."
11: "I was on familysearch.org tonight checking out my ancestors. And I found records back to 390. GUYS. In 390, the Emperor Theodosius was publicly humiliated by Bishop Ambrose. That's a lot of family history. And I found out I have ancestors from Spain. Who knew?
Some favorite ancestral names:
Dolfin FitzUchtred Lord Raby (b. 1136)
Adelicia FitzWalcher (b. 1115)
Lord Robert "The Saxon" of Raby (b. 1160)
Mabel de Malherbe (b. 1173)
Maud FitzSwane (b. 1140)
Robert FitzJohn De Baliol Clavering (b. 1239)
Joscelain De Louvaine (b. 1130)
Alan de la Zouche, Sir Knight (b. 1220)
Albreda Aubrey FitzEustace (b. 1158)
Lancelot de Briquebec (b. 905)
And...Charlemagne Emperor of the Holy Roman Empire (he's my 40th great grandfather on my dad's side).
That's it. I'm officially addicted. Family Search is awesome."
16: "I, like many of the rest of you, have been watching the events in Gaza and Israel with growing alarm. I have many friends, Israeli and Palestinian, whose lives are deeply affected by the ongoing conflict, and I pray for their safety. Choosing who is right and who is wrong in this terribly complicated conflict is not something that I am qualified to do. I believe, however, that true peace will only come when people want peace more than they want to be right. I hope to see an increase of people who push for peace and a decrease of those who militantly pick sides and demand justice at the expense of peace."
20: "My laptop cord is broken. Yes, friends, the same cord that I just bought two weeks ago. To replace the cord that broke three months after I bought it. And I don't have any chocolate. Times are desperate. It's time to call in some John Donne."
22: "Lack of furnishings obviously didn't stop me from hosting Thanksgiving dinner at my house this year. When my friend wanted to take a nap, I was like, sure no problem. Just find the most comfortable spot on the floor! (This picture wasn't staged, btw)"
30: "Today I was sitting in class and suddenly someone's phone went off. I was surprised to hear that someone had the hymn "For All the Saints" as their ring tone, but I was glad it was someone else's problem because I knew my phone was off. And then I realized that somehow my ipod had gotten shifted around in my purse and somehow something had bumped it just right to turn it on and push play! Definitely the most awkward moment of the day: running out of class trying to dig my ipod out to turn it off while my purse plays "For All The Saints" at full volume."
December
1: "My small bit of Christmas cheer didn't quite make it all the way down the banister. Now instead of looking festive, it just looks pathetic."
3: "Finding some random stranger's underwear in my laundry when I picked it up from the laundromat today might just win for awkward experiences this week."
7: "Last night as I was coming out of the grocery store I saw a creeper lurking outside the automatic doors. In order to give him a wide berth, I kept to the very edge of the opening doors. Unfortunately they didn't open all the way and I ran right into the door. Smooth, Breanne."
8: "One paper down. One more to go. One car still broken. And only 10 more days until I fly back to Utah for Christmas...and none of this will matter anymore. (Until, of course, I come back in January to a broken car and lots more papers to write!)"
10: "I'm sick of getting harassed by random strangers as I walk along the sidewalk. Twice in four days is way too many times. Does this happen to anyone else in Columbus? Or am I just hyper sensistive because of my time spent in the Middle East?"
11: "Just finished my last paper. Christmas break has begun! I have so much time on my hands I hardly know what to do. I can search for jobs, refinish my kitchen table, explore Ohio...heck, I might even try online dating. I have a whole week before I fly out to Utah. That should be enough time to do everything, right?"
17: "Authentic Chinese hot pot. Best FHE idea ever. Special thanks to the missionaries and several of their Chinese investigators, who sponsored the event. They even had aloe juice!!!"
25: "I hope Christmas was exciting for everyone as it was for my nephew. Merry Christmas!"
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