so recently I have been thinking about grad school, and recently meaning for the past three or so years. but recently i have been thinking more about it. with 2 majors and 2 minors, i have several choices. just yesterday, i was thinking that i am really interested in religions...how do people worship and why do people worship? this is after last week realizing that i wanted to get my masters in comparative semitic literature...because that will change the world! and then today i realized that i love my english classes and i love my english major...maybe i should go to grad school in english literature, or creative writing so i can improve my blog posts. but then yesterday it struck me...maybe i should work for the CIA, or at least intern for them! i mean, how exciting would it be to be a CIA agent? and with my mad language skills, i would have a ball. but would i really fit in with all that excitement when i am such an academic?
and then i realize that i am sick of the academic world and i am ready for some high class action...chasing spies, legally (or illegally, depending on which country's point of view) trespassing, having a job so secret that i can't even tell my family what i did for work that day. and as Lina said, i am already really really good at lying, and i never stay in one place for more than four months anyway, and i have lived out of the country, and i know hebrew and arabic and i dream in farsi and i attend russian classes...and i can play the "inbetweener" with taking sides with everyone and no one at the same time...
and then i think about all those literature classes i would miss. and the endless hours of memorizing thirty thousand ways of vowelling semitic names, and guessing which ones the professors will use on the test. and learning how to vowel arabic documents. and dealing with professors that think they know everything and you know nothing, because of the letters beside their name. and falling asleep while i am doing my homework--8 times in a 10 page article--because it is so boring. and laundromats a block away and cinderblock apartments and too many roommates and too few bathrooms and mold and riding my bike with crooked handlebars in the ice, and getting boils like Job and viewing the glorious summer from the dirty window of the library. and losing my vision from studying too much.
can you see why i have a hard time deciding?
and then today, i re-realized my dream of becoming a photo-journalist. i want to tell peoples' stories. i want to tell the stories of the west bank and gaza and nigeria and cuba and every other place that has a story to tell with photos--story-telling photos, ones that make you think and feel. and dream. and take action against the horrors of the world. and then i want to write all of the stories of my photographs. and then i want to translate them into cuneiform and hieroglyphics and carve them on the walls of ancient temples that are buried under mounds of earth. and then i want to sing those stories for the world to hear. and then i want to start all over again, but this time do everything i didn't do the first time around.
is that too much to ask?
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