"Would you like fries with that?"

The actual title of this post is, "Would you like fries with that? Or, in other words, the moral obligation of a Humanities major."

It's a little long, though, so I thought I would just stick with the first part.

The other day I was at an evening symposium on the representations of WWI and WWII in England. It was quite interesting, actually, but the main reason that I had gone was because one of my former professors, Kristen Matthews (whom I loved, loved, LOVED!), was in charge of it and invited me to go.

So I went. And after it was all over, I started talking to Dr. Matthews and another of my professors, who also happened to be there. Another woman, an English professor who teaches in Arizona and a good friend of Dr. Matthews (do you have all of these relationships down yet?) was also talking to us, and she said something about English PhD programs--something along the lines of "they should keep those programs small--like 2 or 3 people, or none at all!" All three of us looked a little shocked, so she started to explain.

"I had a student who was just finishing up his undergrad, really bright and had done really well, who came in to talk to me about attending graduate school," she said. "He told me that I had a moral obligation to convince him NOT to go to graduate school in English."

At this point Dr. Matthews looked over at me with a look that said, "I hope you don't expect me to have that same obligation, because I would never convince you not to go to graduate school," and I looked back with a look that said, "First of all I would never expect anyone to have a moral obligation to convince me not to do something that I wanted to do, and secondly I would never as an English professor that also went to graduate school and obviously has a job now to convince me to not follow the same path because there are no jobs."

Yeah. It was a pretty intense look-exchange.

It got me thinking, though. What is it about majors in the Humanities that make people think I will be dishing out fries after graduation? I, of course, am adamant that these years of work will amount to a wonderful job that contributes to the well-being of society and ultimately changes the world. But not everyone has that same idea. Especially with the economy the way has been these past few years, many people think that a college degree is only useful if you can grab your diploma with one hand and your first paycheck in a full-time career with the other.

But really, are there any degrees like that these days?

Anyway, I thought I would make a short list detailing just a few of the benefits of having English majors in society. Because really, majors in the Humanities = helping the world understand what it means to be human. (Do we really want a world that gets paychecks every month and nobody knows how to be human? No.) So here are just a few of my favorite things about being an English major.

1. We have John Donne and George Herbert. Does anything else need to be said? Not to mention poetry in general. What would this world be like if we didn't have poems like "How do I love thee? Let me count the ways" or "The Road Not Taken." Think about what would be missing with your life if we didn't know anything about the poetry of Langston Hughes, Emily Dickinson, or T. S. Eliot.

2. Books can change the world--even fiction books. Ever read Grapes of Wrath? Uncle Tom's Cabin, A Christmas Carol, or War and Peace? They changed the world when they were written. And English majors make sure the world stays changed because of these books (not to mention writing their own books that can change the world). In fact, if you're curious, there are several lists of books that have changed the world. The Online Education Database has one, for starters.

3. Shakespeare. Have you ever read Shakespeare and thought, "That's beautiful. I have no idea what that means." You could take a class on Shakespeare at a university from...someone who studied English in graduate school! And believe me, it would change your life forever.

4. Critical thinking and research skills. I have developed my research abilities and critical thinking skills so much in my English classes. I know what to look for in an academic argument, I know how to figure out if sources are reliable, I know how to construct a coherent and convincing argument, and most of all I know how to think logically and critically about almost any subject, issue, or even ideas or situations (not because I am just amazing, but because that is what they teach us in the English major). I just went to a luncheon where the MBA program told us why women in the Humanities would make such great MBA students. Critical thinking + marketable skill = everyone is happy.

5. Writing skills. Have you ever had to read a college textbook and thought a-this is the most boring thing I have ever read in my life, b-did this person ever take a writing course in college, or c-if I have to read books like this in graduate school I am changing my post-graduate plans? Yeah. I have. And I did change my post-graduate plans for that very reason. Much of my time spent as an English major has been spent writing. And even though my best writing doesn't necessarily come out on my blog, I know what good writing is. I can recognize it, I can work to produce it, and maybe one day, I will write textbooks that are interesting.

There are several more, but I think I will stop here. What do you think--is English really a useless major?